Maybe you’ve noticed, maybe you haven’t...but you haven’t received my newsletter in a few months. The last one was December’s comedic spoof of my own newsletters...and then I had a baby. And now I’m back.
As you know, I don’t normally talk about myself in newsletters, but I’m going to go wild, crazy, and use myself as our case study today. Because, here I am, phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes and yet, despite everything I know, I’m kinda sorta doing things the same way as I did before the birth of Thing #2. But that’s silly. Because here’s what I know:
I’m not – and you’re not – the same person as 4 months ago, let alone four seconds ago. We simply can’t be, with trillions of cells that are perpetually moving at micro levels (e.g. colon cells turning over in 4 days, skin cells in 2-3 weeks)...quantum ones (e.g. electrons at different places in their orbits, vibrating at different frequencies)...etc. So...
Not one structure in my body is the same as it was when I began typing this sentence. Not my intestines, not my right thigh bone (femur). Sure, the structures are similar (my thigh still looks like a thigh and not Picasso’s take on one) ....just like my thoughts about certain subjects may be similar...but they’re simultaneously different. Because it’s literally impossible to go back to the way things exactly were.
New cells in your body? Shouldn’t that give you ample opportunities – an entire lifetime’s worth – to do things differently? To not have knee pain, for example, once all the cells in your ‘old’ knee have been replaced? Yes.
So why don’t we do things differently? Why do we get stuck? Feel held back? SO many reasons. But, you know me, I love appropriating the quantum one(s). In this case, I present a phenomenon known as quantum scarring. A great explanation is via analogy at the macro level: A popsicle melting and then freezing and then melting and refreezing, so on and so forth. As if scarred, the atoms [of the popsicle] seem to bear an imprint of the past that draws them back to their original configuration over and over again.
And there you have it. A whole bunch of atoms that want to pop back into place, no matter how much disruption occurs to them (e.g. receiving a photon of light). Not good, not bad, just a phenomenon that’s part of your fabric. A part of your fabric that wants to stay in equilibrium with what it once knew to be true.
But, if you’re like me, you learn new stuff over time and your personal truth evolves as you do. You want to – nay, need to – pop out of place.
So, the million-dollar question is: Are you living in alignment with your new truth(s)? Or, are you letting quantum scarring get the best of you? Only you can answer this question for you.
I can try to help with this one: What would your life look like if it were aligned with what you currently know to be true?
{Envision for a moment}
My guess is that your vision looks, at least in part, different than your current reality. If so, then you’re being held back (there’s that word again...) by old truths. Old expectations, old guilt, old patterns. Not sayin’ it’s easy to live new ones; truth-living would likely require relocation or new relationships or different jobs, updated posture, improved word selection...
But there's one thing – large or small – you can do to live truer to your right-now version of you. Right now.
As an example, let’s end as we began: with me ;) My vision has me letting go of some of the bajillion pieces of my life right now, and trusting that everything will still be fine when I loosen my grip. Feels like a large, gentle breath. But, instead, my mind possesses seemingly good reasons for why I have to keep control of everything. Which results in a lot less mental space and a lot more texts sent. It’s no longer a tenable M.O. But it’s what I’ve done for so long, it’s imprinted in me. So I hold on. I can even feel the holding, the tension in my body. Even though I know, in no uncertain terms, that I need to let go AND that everything will be the better for it. Hmmm. Maybe I should re-read my newsletter on how my own electrons are letting go all the time...
So my homework –which I’m making-up for myself right now – is to be increasingly present (using the breathing exercise included in aforementioned newsletter). Because when I’m present I, by definition, can’t be ruminating about other stuff; so, for example, when I’m with Thing #2, I’m with Thing #2...not thinking about my to-do list. As corollary homework, therefore, I will a) more actively prioritize all the balls, b) set my expectation that some balls will most definitely drop, and c) trust that my world and the world will keep turning. In other words: I’ll let life take over a bit ;) It’s gonna save a lot of mental space and allow for richer experiences. All I have to do is cue myself with, 'Hey how can I intro more breath into this situation?' in order to exit mind and enter breath. Good plan [self-pat on the back].
What’s your homework? Make-up something now, you have every day after to figure-it-out further.
Ah, life school. Kinda feels like we’re back in eighth grade. ;)